Love yourself, because no one else will

For many years of my life, I was unhappy with every part of myself. Whether it be my face, my body, my grades, my race, my personality - I was never satisfied. I would constantly put myself down while putting my others on a pedestal. At that time, I had an inkling that this was not healthy behavior, but I chalked it down to being humble.

Fast forward to the present. I don't really fit in with my workplace. I mean, I don't think I was really good at making friends in the first place, but compared to the rest of the girls I have dissimilar hobbies so I guess I never really had anything to chat about. But - although I may not like any of my co-workers in particular, I never disliked any of them either. Perhaps this is because I'm the type of person a lot of people dislike - naive and unopinionated. Everybody needs somebody to hate, they say, but I don't think I've ever experienced such strong emotions towards another person before.

So it surprised me when I heard that one of my co-workers tattletaled on me to our boss. Let's call this co-worker M. M and I were closing the cafe together one night, and usually the one who does not count up the earnings will leave earlier, to save on wage costs. So I did. The next day I heard from my boss that M told her that I left too early without finishing my duties. I racked my brain hard, but I didn't remember anything I forgot to do. It turned out to not be a problem - I explained that I thought I was supposed to help cut down on wage costs, and the boss agreed with my thinking.

But this accusation cut me deep when I realized that because I was the odd one out, M would attempt to get me hated by the boss. I've never been actively rude to her, nor have I spoken about her behind her back. I was hated simply because I was quiet and boring. I've never experienced such a thing before, and I am lucky for that. My high school was a sheltered one, and even now, my classmates are kind people striving to help others. I don't think I'll ever understand the mentality of trying to one up another person. In fact, that evening M spent about twenty minutes chatting to another co-worker who came in to buy a coffee while I cleaned out the back, but I didn't want to mention this to the boss. What's the point of tattletaling? It just creates a cycle of hurt.

However, that day taught me that I need to love myself. Even though I may be chubby, even though I may not be beautiful, even though I may be a bit slow-witted - I need to respect myself. Because who else will? Of course, my family and friends will always be supportive, and for that I cannot thank them enough. In the future, however, when I'm working alone in a large hospital, no one else will defend me but myself.

Remember, you are fine just the way you are. You deserve to be respected. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Sometimes, it all gets too much

Hi Internet! I'm Katie, a young adult currently studying medicine in Australia. I work part-time as a barista, and have a pet parrot. My parents are still with me, and I also have an older sister.

My life sounds fantastic when I say it like that. It's not that I'm ungrateful - no, I realise that I could be rotting somewhere in a back alley with no family, no job, no future. But I have struggled with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I think that depression is such a terrifying condition. It's insidious and creeps up behind you when you're least expecting it. It replaces you with a zombie, which takes over your life without anyone the wiser. You look fine, but you're not. Luckily, mine comes and goes, but I can't speak for others.

This is a blog to sort out my feelings and hopefully remind anyone that you're not alone. I may sound stupid, everything may be irrelevant, but the me right now still hopes that everything will turn out okay.